The magnificent four
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Identity
- the feeling of where you belong
Independence
- faith in your own strength and respect for the independence of others
Close relations
- the basis for emotional engagement
Cooperation
- a precondition for great achievements and great emotions
- the feeling of where you belong
Independence
- faith in your own strength and respect for the independence of others
Close relations
- the basis for emotional engagement
Cooperation
- a precondition for great achievements and great emotions
The feeling of identity
The feeling of identity is linked in the first instance to where you are born and raised. Next, it derives from the social class you are born into and the profession of both your parents. You may take your distances from what your parents have done with their life, but this point of departure will always be with you as a reference you either will identify with or define yourself in opposition to. Thirdly, your identification will gradually be built around the image you wish to create for yourself, an image that will be the guide for your future choices. If you succeed in fulfilling your amibitions, this new identification will gradually grow on you and form your mature image of yourself. If you do not succeed, your identification will move in other directions - until a more definitive situation emerges for you - either of your own will or as the result of what life has done to you. Your sense of identity will then stabilize as a mix of the three sources of identification.
Independence
Your feeling of independence will develop in close connection with your capacity to make your own choices in life. We all depend on each other in one way or another for survival. Nobody is materially self-sufficient, not even hermits. People possess varying degrees of self-sufficiency, but nobody is totally self-sufficient. Being independent is not the same as being self-sufficient. A person who aspires to self-sufficiency will be completely dependent on those key persons who supply the things he cannot do without - for instance equipment for agriculture or fishing. An independent person is something different. That is a person who has set his own goals in life, who understands how he will need the cooperation of others to achieve those goals, and what it takes of effort from himself to reach those goals. His independence is characterized by his capacity to take the necessary decisions himself, without letting others push him in directions he has not chosen freely on his own accord.
Close relations
The quality of your life will be formed by your human relations. A life in complete loneliness is chosen by some people, but such a choice often comes as a result of disappointments that person has met in his relations with others. If you have a good family, good friends and good colleagues at your workplace, you will have the necessary basis for developing the emotional qualities life can offer. This will of course not come by itself. Social relations are a result of the efforts made by those who form your social network. Somebody must take initiative to meet, efforts have to be made to give content to the nature and quality of the meeting, and every participant must take active part in producing the content. It will never function if only a few make the efforts.
Cooperation
Cooperation always produces better results than solo effort, even when the solo effort is the point in itself - like solo navigation across the ocean. In those latter cases preparations are never solo efforts. Only when cooperation turns sour, like when people start fighting each other or when they disagree on the goals to be met, will solo effort produce better results.
The feeling of identity is linked in the first instance to where you are born and raised. Next, it derives from the social class you are born into and the profession of both your parents. You may take your distances from what your parents have done with their life, but this point of departure will always be with you as a reference you either will identify with or define yourself in opposition to. Thirdly, your identification will gradually be built around the image you wish to create for yourself, an image that will be the guide for your future choices. If you succeed in fulfilling your amibitions, this new identification will gradually grow on you and form your mature image of yourself. If you do not succeed, your identification will move in other directions - until a more definitive situation emerges for you - either of your own will or as the result of what life has done to you. Your sense of identity will then stabilize as a mix of the three sources of identification.
Independence
Your feeling of independence will develop in close connection with your capacity to make your own choices in life. We all depend on each other in one way or another for survival. Nobody is materially self-sufficient, not even hermits. People possess varying degrees of self-sufficiency, but nobody is totally self-sufficient. Being independent is not the same as being self-sufficient. A person who aspires to self-sufficiency will be completely dependent on those key persons who supply the things he cannot do without - for instance equipment for agriculture or fishing. An independent person is something different. That is a person who has set his own goals in life, who understands how he will need the cooperation of others to achieve those goals, and what it takes of effort from himself to reach those goals. His independence is characterized by his capacity to take the necessary decisions himself, without letting others push him in directions he has not chosen freely on his own accord.
Close relations
The quality of your life will be formed by your human relations. A life in complete loneliness is chosen by some people, but such a choice often comes as a result of disappointments that person has met in his relations with others. If you have a good family, good friends and good colleagues at your workplace, you will have the necessary basis for developing the emotional qualities life can offer. This will of course not come by itself. Social relations are a result of the efforts made by those who form your social network. Somebody must take initiative to meet, efforts have to be made to give content to the nature and quality of the meeting, and every participant must take active part in producing the content. It will never function if only a few make the efforts.
Cooperation
Cooperation always produces better results than solo effort, even when the solo effort is the point in itself - like solo navigation across the ocean. In those latter cases preparations are never solo efforts. Only when cooperation turns sour, like when people start fighting each other or when they disagree on the goals to be met, will solo effort produce better results.